English joking

Teacher : History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past. 
Student : Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history. 
Teacher : Why? 
Student : There is no future in it. 

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Teacher : Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, how much would your father still have? 
Ted : $10. 
Teacher : You don't know maths. 
Ted : You don't know my father! 

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Mother : David, come here. 
David : Yes, mum? 
Mother : You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse. 
David : But I will only get my report book tomorrow. 
Mother : I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I am scolding you now.

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Father : Why did you fail your mathematics test? 
Son : On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8 
Father : So? 
Son : On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8. If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer? 


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A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father. 

Daughter : It's mummy! 
Father : How do you know? 
Daughter : She didn't say anything. 

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Girl : Do you love me? 
Boy : Yes Dear 
Girl : Would you die for me? 
Boy : No, mine is undying love